I don’t remember how it became a saying, or what in the world we were thinking when someone first uttered this expression, but it is a great line we use on each other from time to time.

Over the years, we have defined our friendship in various ways, but all of them make me smile out of laughter or out of cuteness.

One night around 3am, she showed up at my door looking tired worse for wear. I had been up over 72 hours with school and work, and was up writing a paper for school. We were around 18, and we sat around for a few minutes while I warmed water to make hot chocolate. I took out the hazelnut syrup and said “I love you so much I don’t mind breaking out the hazelnut syrup. It has definitely been a hazelnut syrup kind of day.”

Or one day she spontaneously gave me a hug and said “Thank you so much for never peeing, pooping, or puking on me.” I was not sure how to answer that one, but “You’re welcome,” seemed to work quite well.

One long morning on a hike we call death hill, we had both been out late the night before and were up and on the trails by 6am with only a couple hours sleep, and we took turns trying to push the other one up the hill. Lots of laughter ensued.

She was sick one day and I bought her over a nice hot drink. And she has called me to remind me of an up coming event because she knows that is not my strong suit.

We have a very unique friendship. We talk anything often with much laugher. We are different enough that we often disagree and learn a lot about other views by listening to each other.

How do express friendship and love to the people you are closest to? What do they do that make you feel most loved and appreciated? What makes your relationships special to you? When you look back at the great time with your friends and family, what stands out? What do you want to create more of? What do you want to move away from?

Friendships are always growing and evolving. By noticing the awesome parts, you can consciously create more of them. By noticing what doesn’t work, you know what to change. Relationships are always changing, and you have the chance to make that into a positive experience.

Go hug a friend today.

Adrienne

Everyday, I try and take moment to remember what I love.  It comes in all forms.  Sometimes people, sometimes events, sometimes a new toy, and sometimes an experience.  They are things that make me happy, help me move forward to achieve and experience new things.  Things that make my heart happy and my mouth smile.  Things I am grateful for.

Our culture spends a lot of time focusing on what we want.  The next toy, the next house, the next vacation.  But, I find it great to remind myself of all the wonderful aspects of my life.

1. Dancing in the rain
2. Anticipating a new books release
3. Reading a new book
4. A nice long snuggle from a loved one.
5. An impromptu hug just because
6. Petting a kitten or a puppy or bunny or bear
7. Hugging a tree
8. A long hike in the woods
9. Watching a sunrise or a sunset
10. Feeling waves lap at my ankles with sand between my toes
11. Sore muscles from a wonderful workout
12. Climbing a mountain
13. The view at the above the tree line
14. A snowball fight
15. Stalking a loved one in the snow until in range to tackle
16. Working out a complex math problem
17. Finding a bug in a program after hours and it finally works
18. Class V white water
19. Day dreaming
20. The smell of rain
21. Watching the stars
22. Snuggling in sweats on a cold winters day
23. Helping someone
24. Creating the space for people to grow
25. Expanding other peoples horizons and my own
26. Doing something amazing for the world
27. Trying new things
28. The smell of a good meal
29. The taste of ripe fruit
30. Dancing to music  in the dark late at night under the stars
31. Writing
32. Hugging a friend
33. Making pictures out of clouds
34. Playing in a pool
35. Every laugh
36. Every giggle
37. Every amused grin
38. Bear hugs
39. Eskimo kisses
40. Freshly brushed teeth
41. Kids laughing
42. Little kid hugs
43. The satisfied sigh at the end of the day that it is a better place because I did something that mattered.
44. Icy water on a hot day
45. Slip and slide
46. Running in the sprinklers
47. Laughing over games long into the night
48. Watching a thunderstorm
49. Riding a bike and feeling the breeze fly hair all around
50. Playing under the sun
51. Long summer days
52. Long winter nights
53. Saying I love you
54. Seeing someone eyes glitter with happiness
55. Playing sports
56. Playing games
57. Pictures of space, dreaming of going to space
58. The hope for a new star trek series
59. Staying up late to watch a meteor shower
60. Spending time with friends
61. XKCD
62. Sleeping under the stars
63. Waking up next to someone you love
64. Sleeping next to someone you love
65. Being tickled
66. Tickling
67. Star trek, star gate, firefly, the pretender, quantum leap
68. Growing as a person
69. Create/invent something using my hands
70. Watermelon during the dog days of summer
71. Reading the back cover of a much anticipated book
72. Good tasting chapstick
73. Laying on the ground coloring with kids
74. Fuzzy animals who seem happy being petted
75. Playing volleyball at the beach
76. Staying up late giggling with friends over silly things
77. How none funny things become  laugh worthy topics  as darkness descends
78. Best friends
79. Listening to people
80. Listening to rain
81. Listening to animals
82. Listening to nature
83. Waking up energized
84. The content feeling of going to bed after an awesome productive day
85. Jammies
86. Puddles when it rains
87. Being read to
88. Reading to someone
89. Almost anything topic I wish to learn more about, I can find information online
90. Funky nail polish colors
91. Dreaming
92. Fuzzy socks for cold winter days
93. Sticking my head in the freezer after a long hard sport filled day
94. The backspace key
95. Memories
96. Courage
97. Intelligence
98. Honesty
99. Harmony
100. Polar Bears, wolves, dragons, every animal, and everything in my imagination.

Sometimes situations are not ideal, but everyday, there can be things you love.  Things you don’t have to be a millionaire for.  Things you don’t have to  travel for,.  Every day more and more and your life can be things you love.

What are you grateful for?  Do you make sure that every day you do something you love, something that makes you happy?  If not, maybe you need to change the way you live.  Life is too short for it to suck.

Adrienne

For those of you who don’t know the story, a girl is involved in a car accident and ever night when she goes to sleep, her memory resets to the day before the accident.  Her family, trying to do what they think is best, live each day with her like it is the day before the accident.

They don’t bother to tell her the truth since she just gets upset and forgets it the next day anyway.  (spoiler alert) In comes a man who falls in love with her.  He tells her family she is so upset because she is never moving forward with her life.  When she finds out the truth (and it happens from time to time) she realizes she has not gotten to live at all.

The movie was funny, but not a repeat watch for me. However, some of the messages are ones I try to follow.

Time is our most precious resource.  It is nonrenewable even with reincarnation you are not the same person living this life.  It is finite and there is a whole lot of awesome living to be done before time is up.

Move forward so every day is different then the last.  Sometimes I feel very frustrated, and I can’t figure out why.  Usually when I examine it, it is because I have not moved forward enough for the number of days that have passed.  This often happens when I have gotten sick or just need a break for a couple days.  After those couple days, I am anxious to get back into the grove of forward momentum.

I prefer to make huge leap forwards, then spend some time adjusting then take a few more leaps.  Other people may like baby steps, letting life adjust as you move.  Either way, every day is a step of your life.  I would rather the views be awesome, the path adventurous, and the destination amazing.  So at the end, I can say “That was an awesome ride.”

Time is going to pass anyway.  You have a choice.  You can watch tv, or you can live.  Living is not without its ups and downs, and it is by far the more adventurous route and the most rewarding.  So what will it be?  Tv of life? Adventure or living through tv characters? Growing and learning and loving or being the same person at 25 as you are at 65?  Using time to live or letting time slip away?

Adrienne

Dead time is time waiting in a waiting room, standing in line, waiting at a long red light, driving, being in traffic, workout time, grocery shopping, on a plane, waiting for a plane, and any time where you can have a spare couple minutes.

My favorite things to do when I am looking at dead time are reading, thinking, problem solving, listening, and creating.

Reading

There are books for everyone these days.  I like to keep a comic book like Dilbert or Calvin and Hobbes in the car for long lights.  My kindle is a wonderful device for readers.  I keep my kindle with me almost all the time.  I even put important documents I am supposed to read and read them while I am out and about.  No more being tied to the computer to read a 300-page document.

Reading is a great way to fill gap time.  By reading, you can be entertained and learn.  You can find new recipes to create, read personal development books, learn about an ancient culture, and put yourself into a fictional world of a character.

Thinking and Problem Solving

These are great opinions if you cannot have other toys like ipods and books with you.  I do this mostly when I am swimming and showering because I know I have a long time without being interrupted so I can work thru a problem or think about an issue.

This is very open ended; you can think about anything.  I tend to use thinking time like this to put together lists and plans of attack.   I also use this time to figure out how to accomplish a new goal or new ways to go about getting better results towards a goal.   I have even used this time to figure out complicated scheduling.  As a programmer, this is great time for me to think of a better way to attack a programming problem.

Listening

I love to listen to podcasts or music when I am on the road for a while, grocery shopping, walking, and pacing.

I use podcasts usually as a way to blend learning and entertainment.  Many people also enjoy audio books.

I have an ipod touch and a aux port in my car which allows me to listen while doing an activity then get in the car and plug in so I leave pick up right were I left off.

You can also listen to an mp3 player while hiking, biking, and other solitary activities.  However, when I do these, I often enjoy listening to the sounds around me rather than my mp3 player.  Sometimes though, esp on a long hike, I will put in only 1 ear bud so I can listen to the world around me and some music that compliments the hike I am doing.

Music is great because it can be listened to while doing other activities that require concentration.  I listen to music while I write, program, and pace.

Being Creative

Dead time can also be filled by being creative.  Creating a new recipe to make for dinner, creating a poem or story, thinking of a new business idea, a new way to make friends, a way to vary an exercise routine, and any way you can creative to help you move forward in your life.

In the last week, these are ways, I have optimized my time.  I listened to podcasts when I went grocery shopping, read while I waited for my turn at the chiropractor, looked thru uncookbooks while eating lunch and watching a show with a friend, learned a new crochet pattern while hanging out with friends, read and made a new friend when I donated blood on Friday, and even now I am listening to French music while writing to help strengthen my French skills.

When I used to drive home from my job, I had a long red light usually between a 3 to 5 minute wait.  I always made sure I kept a book on the passenger seat.  I usually picked Dilbert comic strips (it seemed oddly fitting since I was going back and forth from a programming job) because it was short, and I appreciate them more in short bursts.

A friend of mine loves to do community acting, and he practices his lines to and from work every day on his 60 minute each way commute.  He reads them aloud recording them and then plays them in the car to learn them.

There are all sorts of ways to use gap time to move yourself forward towards goals or just to be entertained while you wait.  Be creative and find a way to use time to your advantage.

Adrienne

I got to experience 2 very different ways of living.  I loved and enjoyed both, but the experience taught me how quickly something atypical becomes normal.

When I moved out to KY, I remember being amazed at how different everything was from people, to trees, to climate.

San Jose, California average rain fall is 13.9 inches.  Northern Kentucky gets 40.i inches.  California is a costal state whereas KY is landlocked.  California is considered very liberal whereas northern Kentucky is very conservative.  KY is filled with trees, CA tends to keep most of its trees in national parks.

Within a few short years, it became normal for me to watch thunderstorms in the middle of summer, and throw snowballs in the winter.  Until then, I had never lived in a place that is rains in the summer and snows in the winter.  But, now back in CA, I miss the thunderstorms.  I miss the snowballs (but not the driving in the snow )

While climate is the easiest aspect to notice, the harder one to adjust to is the social difference.  Kentucky stretched and strengthened my acceptance muscles.  Never before had I been in a place where prejudices were not only condoned but expected. Where some people still thought a woman’s place is in the home – barefoot and pregnant preferably.

The more time I spent with these people, the more I understood their point of view (notice I did not say agree).  It reminded me the first time I realized people were like characters in a book (or characters in a tv show if you like).

When I was younger, 8 or 10 maybe, I noticed I was a lot more tolerant of people in books than I was of them in real life.  I accepted characters for who they were and loved them more for their quirks and what made them stand out.  It shifted my thinking, everyone became their own main character with stories to tell and adventures to lead.  Most people are very diverse.  I might not like 1 or 2 things they do, but that does not mean I should throw the baby out with the bath water.

I love the characters in books because I take the time to get to know them.  I get to see their motivations and how they adapt to life.  I get to watch them grow through their trials, some grow faster then others and some require more lessons from the school of hard knocks.

So I shifted my thinking, everyone is a friend I just have not met yet.  Everyone has at least one interesting story.  When I went to KY, I had to focus more on accepting people for who they were, and getting to know other parts about them.

After a while of accepting who they were and listening to them talk out how they got to be where they were, they seemed to become more accepting themselves.  Someone I worked with who was not ok with women working, said to me after a couple years, “I don’t always like it, but I accept that women can and do have a place in the work place”.  This was a major step for him.  When I quit my job, he was actually sorry to see me go and made sure I had his email address.

When I let go, and accept people as they are, I am free to listen to their experiences and get to know them for who they are.  And while I learn about them, they get to know me, and hopefully they get to learn some positive characteristics from me.  As i get to know them, it is easier for me to accept them for who they are, the parts i like and the parts i don’t.  I may not chose to spend lots of time with them as i chose to surround myself with loving open people, but I can accept them regardless.

Adrienne

1. I quit a great job (well great as far as jobs go) at ADP.  I had a Fabulous boss, great friends, and cool projects.
2. My favorite movies are Princess bride, A&E pride and prejudice, and Disney’s beauty and the beast.
3. I love dancing to pop music.
4. I cant dance for shit.  I look like a neurotic squirrel, but i have fun and that is what matters.
5. I love to program, and can be given a programming book and be writing in the language within a few minutes and whole work programs within a couple days.
6. I love to read.  I typically read 2 to 3 books a week.  My favorite genres are supernatural fiction, sci-fi, and comedy.  However, i really only like books in a series, stand alone books can be good, but i dont enjoy them as much as picking up a new book in a series and finding an old friend.
7. I love to write.  I have written 2 complete books and am working on the 3rd in the series.
8. I just bought a new macbook pro.  I am a windows and linux geek, so i get to learn a new OS.  Seems awesome tho so far.  I am particularly interested in running linux on here and windows. So much new stuff to learn.  It is awesome.
9. I quote star trek almost every day.  I also quote famous poems or plays or books almost every day, and the only people who ever get the references are Bill (my old boss), my auntie, and my best friend.
10. I love animals, i dont even kill spiders in my place.  I let them live in their corner or where ever.
11. I know how to crochet and that is a little horrifying.
12. I love math and science and space and geeky stuff.
13. My indoor actives are usually pretty quite (unless i am playing an indoor sport), reading, computer, programming, games, video games, writing.
14. My outdoor activities are pretty insane, extreme sports, playing sports, skipping in the grocery store parking lot and in the actual store, dancing, spinning around in circles, hiking, white water rafting, anything and everything.  There is very little i wont try.
15. I laugh almost all day long.
16. I am a person of extremes. I think life is best lived that way.  Heck, anyone can be average.
17. I would love to learn how to build a green car and how build a house from the ground up.
18. I would love to have a laboratory/work shop where i can invent things.  Mmm sounds like an idea for something in the future.
19. I spend too much time on stumbleupon
20. I love to learn and am curious about everything.  I true to spend most of my day learning or trying new things or getting better at new things.  Occasionally (esp when it comes to programming languages) it is nice to actually know something about what i am doing, but mostly, if i already know a ton about it, i am just not interested in it anymore.  The current things i want to learn are: more about raw foods, drawing, comedy, math and science behind the ZPM theory (energy from a vacuum), fitness, and 100s more.
21. I dont really get bored.  I have my imagination to keep me entertained and i can sit and think or pace and think for a quite a while.  I almost always have a book, a computer, or something else with me.  I can code in my head, write in my head, or just be happy day dreaming.
22. I an adventurer.  I love to hike, backpack around.  I want to travel for world for a few years, meet new people, experience new cultures, do amazing things.  My friends and i are actually doing this.  We quit our jobs and are heading off for places unknown, where the road takes us.  We think we will hike around CA and head off for Costa Rica then just travel around to where we want to go.  We plan to work from the road and plan as we go.  It will be amazing.  And yes, i will blog about it.
23. I am a vegan a very happy vegan.
24. I love to play in the rain.  I still go out and jump in puddles, run, play, slip and slide, and take long walks in the rain.
25. I am very introverted, but most people think i am very extroverted.  It takes alot for me to act like an extrovert.  I enjoy it, but i need my quite time.

Adrienne

Steve Pavlina

Steve is one of my all time favorite bloggers, so my expectations for his book are that much higher.  I talk about Steve often enough in daily conversation that many people assume Steve is one of my best friends who I spend a lot of time with.  In truth, I have never met him, but I do consider us friends.
Steve set high expectations for his book.  After I finished reading PDSP, I headed back to the description he gave of the book and reread it.
I find it dishonest when people talk so much about what they will cover, I read the book all excited, then when I finish it, I look back at the author’s summary, and I very little of what the summary says holds true to the book (this is typically when they pose questions they will answer and when I finish the book, I still don’t have the answer).  I am very happy to say that Steve’s summary of his book is actually what is covered in his book.
And yes, this is the Steve of the recent article 10 things I love about Steve Pavlina’s blog.

String Theory and PDSP

PDSP reminds me of  String Theory.  String theory is the idea that the biggest of the big (stars and planets and black holes and quasars and such) follow the same rules as the littlest of the little (electrons, quarks and all that stuff in quantum mechanics). Where string theory attempts to find underlying laws that apply to the entire universe both great and small, PDSP brings to light universal truths that relate to all aspects of life.  The idea is that the same rules apply to heath, growth, habits, money, and all aspects of your life.  If you understand these fundamental principles, you can devise better plans of action.  The fundamental principles are truth, love, power, oneness, authority, courage, and intelligence.
For me, this is very powerful because if I understand why and how something works, I can extrapolate other applications.  I am a big why and how person.  I have been teased that I never got out of the why and how stage. 

Getting PDSP

I got a signed copy from Steve.  That week, I was expecting quite a few packages and I had no idea when it would come.  The moment I saw it, before I could see the label to know it was for me, or who it was from (it was in a bin with all the smaller packages), I knew it was Steve’s book.  I could feel the love pouring off of it.
I took it home that night and started it right away doing all the exercises as I came to them (except one).  I purposely read it slow over the course of a couple weeks.  I definitely got some new favorite quotes from it.

Finishing PDSP

I finished the book faster then I wanted to have enough time to try out some of ideas before I wrote this.  The book finished on a note just as strong as how it started.  There were no parts were I felt I could have just skipped or cut out.
I am going to let the ideas percolate for a couple weeks and then reread it again.

Putting PDSP to use

Steve listed many exercises through out the book to reinforce the ideas he was passing on. While I unconsciously do many of the ideas he proposed in this book such as writing goals, reading a bunch on subjects I know nothing about, and teaching people what I know, I saw them in a different light when I focused on them.  I learned how I can use those skills to further other goals.

Trying Growth Blitzing

Growth Blitzing is an exercise in PDSP to apply all 7 principles within a time frame.
Steve recommends trying to do this in a week.  Basically 1 per day and if you want to be bold, trying doing them all in 1 day.  Well I decided to be extra bold – do them all in 1 day for 2 days consecutive days and see what happens.

I decided to do this over a weekend.  I was coming off a very busy week where I was lucky to get home before midnight if I got home at all.  I was exhausted, sleep deprived, and looking at a full weekend feeling very overwhelmed.  Saturday and Sunday I was in ems classes from 8am until 530pm.  Saturday night I was watching my youngest cousin from 6pm until after midnight, and Sunday night I was on call at the firehouse from 6pm until 6am Monday morning when I went straight to work then to a volleyball tournament Monday night (my team won but more importantly, we had a great time!).
The idea of adding even more to this weekend was daunting, but I am nothing if not adventurous so I said, bring it on.
For those of you who don’t know.  I moved a few years ago to a much smaller town who uses volunteers for the fire department.  So when someone calls 911 with a fire or needing medical help, it is volunteers who respond.  I run on the ambulance anywhere from 12 to 36 hours a week depending on how many people are around to cover it.  This means, I am always lusting after sleep and often 1 -3 times a week, I am up all night on call then I turn around and go to work the next day.
As part of staying up on skills and new information, EMTs are required to take a lot of continuing education.  Last weekend (the weekend I applied the PDSP ideas), I was in continuing education classes all day.  This is an annual event that I have been going to now for 4 years.  I thought this was a good weekend to try growth blitzing, since I could compare the weekend with past weekends where the circumstances are very similar, and I could compare who I am through the weekend compared to pervious years.

While I did do all 7 each day, I picked the best one of the two days per principle to report here.

Truth

This is not normally a trouble area for me, but I found a way to make this very difficult.  One of the classes early Saturday was a woman, Donna, who talked about not only mental and emotional issues that effect the world at large that we come into contact with everyday on runs (a run in ems/fire speak means anytime we are dispatched out), but the ones that hit ems close to home such as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder), depression, suicidal thoughts among other things when our coping mechanisms eventually fail.
How does ems typically respond to people telling them according to most research 100 percent of ems and Fire personnel suffers from PTSD?  We laugh, we joke, we brush it off, and then we don’t think about it anymore.

We have a saying in ems.  When you see/experience something bad, what should you do?  The answer to this we are supposed to give on tests is a talk about it or hold a CISD (critical incident stress debriefing).  What do you do? Go drinking, eat cake, wash down the cake with  alcohol and repeat as needed.  I am a vegan, and I don’t drink outside 1 or 2 drinks a year.  But I definitely feel more of the urge to drink at 6am after a rough night then I do to go talk about it.

Instead of just brushing off what Donna had to say, I tried to really think about how this applies to me.  Does it even apply to me?  I tried to be honest with myself.  I have seen a lot of death, abuse, accidents, and an array of other incidences on and off call.  I have  watched my friends go into dangerous situations, been in dangerous situations, and had friends die.  After long nights on call, I go to work and bury myself into it without really dealing with it.  A couple weeks later maybe someone makes a joke about it, but for the most part everything that goes on, gets put in a nice little bottle and shelved away.  Its an excellent coping mechanism, but being as this is truth and all, this is probably not a good idea long term.
I think a lot of my friends get some relief by drinking, by letting out anger in violent spurts, crying, even talking about it.  Seldom does a week go by that I don’t have a phone call from someone wanting to talk about an overwhelming run.  I don’t do anything of these things.  Thinking about this, I can see how this has started to take a toll on me.
I am not sure what I am going to do with this information yet, but at least I know about it to deal with it.  It is something I have suspected but shoved out of my head for a while now steadfastly refusing to think about it.

Love

Every year during this event, I go out to lunch with my the people from my station.  Every year we go to a steak house and every year I order a dry salad or don’t eat because they have nothing that is vegan.  I enjoy spending the time with my crew, but I hated smelling all the cooked death (everyone always got steaks).
This year I chose to do something different.
I drove to eat lunch my youngest cousin.  He is 11, and still is so happy to see me (tho he sees me almost everyday), he jumps in my arms when I walk through the door.  I made a nice vegan lunch for us and snuggled with him for the rest of lunch hour. This did my little heart all sorts of good.

Power

I worked on self discipline to improve my power.  This was one of the hardest parts because to do this I chose to try and actively listen to 16 hours of ems topics where the speakers are not professional quality and the topics are mostly topics a typical ems person knows in an out.  Most of what is covered is akin to telling someone, gee did you know it is the women in the human race that have the babies?
While 99 percent of what was covered, I had heard before and already knew I did learn some new stuff.  I try to always be an active listener but 16 hours of which 99 percent is regurgitated from reading off of power points slides taxes my attention span.
Every time I noticed my attention falter I brought it back to the speaker.  Instead of being happy that I was able to escape to my own little world for a while, I focused on keeping my attention with a speaker.  Yes, I knew most of this, but was there a way I could apply it differently?
How did this turn out?  It was quite frustrating for awhile. During breaks, I would wonder, why am I doing this?  The answer turned out not to be rooted in what I could learn, but exercising the self discipline muscle for the sake of strengthening it and a lesson in oneness.

Oneness

When a particular boring speaker began his 2 hour presentation, I focused on all the positives.  I wrote lines from my favorite poems on his handouts to try and make a positive experience out of it.  For the first time ever (I have seen him present many times), he actually had 2 things that required the class to be actively engaged.
I found that by attempting to connect with him and putting things I liked into the presentation, I could interact with him on another level.  It did not suddenly make the class fun or interesting, but it did give me a new sense of appreciation for him.  He is obviously nervous and trying to work on his speaking skills.  He gave up part of his free time on a Sunday to come talk to us.  He went out to his way to create class participation.  He even created his own powerpoint so we would not have to review the same powerpoint we go over ever few months.  He worked really hard.
I clapped for him at the end.  I was the only one.  But I wanted him to know that someone appreciated his time.

Authority

Sitting in class to learn more about many aspects of emergency health care to better treat people does add to my authority.  Later that night I successfully lead command on a few scenes (this is not out of the ordinary), reviewed the run with our newbie (again not unusual, I do this with every run esp with new people), but this time I focused more on my authority in the situation.  I never really thought about what my authority means to the person I am treating or teaching.
We are always told, be calm.  Keep parents calm. Keep the patient calm.  If ems is frenzied, this shows up loud and clear in patients.  Worried parents create squirming, crying, agitated kids.
In the past,  I have put myself in a patient’s shoes.  Ridding backwards when they are not used to it, strange people buzzing around them using unfamiliar terms, strange equipment, lots of bumps, not to mention the tools we use on patients.  During the run, I paid closer attention to how my authority affects the patient and my crew.
On my crew, I am the leader.  I set the tone for the run, and I am ultimately responsible for how the run shakes down.  I noticed then when I am in a hurry or annoyed I see that reflected in my crew which the patient picks up on.  I already knew patients watch us carefully (if they are conscious enough).  The surprise here is how carefully my crew watches me.  They watch me for any sign of what I want them to do, if they are doing something right or wrong, how fast we should be moving, how concerned we are, and I am sure now a bunch of other things.
We had a early morning run around 230 in the morning.  I woke up after having been asleep for entire hour.  Heard over the PA system the time and the run and the address.  Bright red lights went off as well as the monster in the dark roared to life (we have a system in the firehouse that lets off an a loud deep growl sound that wakes me up into flight or fight every time it goes off and I quickly cover my ears so I call it the monster in the dark .)  I was exhausted, and I knew I would not have any time to sleep before I had to go to work Monday morning.  I quickly threw on my gear and fell/tripped/ran down the stairs with the rest of my crew.    Wiping sleep out of my eyes, I started the ambulance, took a deep breath, turned on the lights and sirens.
While my crew focused on patient care, I focused on leading my crew.  I found this very effective.  If I was leading well, I could stay in touch with patient care but also lead my crew.  It was hard, but by the time we got to the home with the run, I had stopped being annoyed at being woken up, talked my crew through what they needed to do, and the run went smoothly.  I am not sure if there was a physical manifestation of the difference in my command, but I felt a little different.  I consciously choose to focus my attention on leading my crew and the rest of the pieces I worry about (protocol, patient care, etc) fell into place.  I felt calmer, and my crew appeared to be calmer.  It was a nice feeling.

Courage

During one of our breaks in class, I told my ems chief (a women who I am good friends with) where there was a misunderstanding between her and one of my crew members.  Normally, I would have just talked it out with my crew member.  But I told my chief.  I wanted her to know that what she meant is not what came across.  This was hard because I know she was just trying to be nice and kind and keep peace, but that is not how it came across.
This turned out to be a very positive thing.  She told me how much she has loved sitting in my classes or presentations and what I thought she could do to communicate better with my crew.

Intelligence

According to Steve, one of the aspects of intelligence is growth (and not in that yuck, can you look at this and tell me if I should have the growth removed kind of way ) I grew a lot this weekend.  I grew as an EMT.  I grew as a student.  I grew as a teacher.  I grew as a person.  Was it big steps? no.  I merely continued to build upon a foundation I already had in place.
So what if anything was so great about it?  I was aware of it.  I had some clarity I did not have before.  Best of all tho, was I see how I can apply these steps in a more focused way to bring about greater change in my life and the lives of those around me.

Overall PDSP review

I enjoyed it.  I even got some copies for friends.  I cant wait to put this together in a more focused approach. Did I already know some of this stuff?  Yes.  Was it all new information? No.  Was it put together in such a way it gave me a new way to view things? Yes.
I can see someone might criticize PDSP saying it does not have practical information.  If you are looking for a step by step guide to how to become a millionaire, you would probably be disappointed in picking up this book.  However, if your goal is to understand the underlying way of a millionaire, this book’s principles can be put to use towards that goal.  It however does not give advice like what kind of company to form, how to file taxes etc.  It gives you the tools to create your own plan and carry it out to be a millionaire (or lose weight, or quit your job, or any number of other things.)

What was missing?

The one thing I thought was missing in this book was Steve’s humor.  I adore Steve’s humor.  There were no smiley faces.  There was a couple parts where I felt he was making a joke and I smiled, but for the most part, Steve humor was mysteriously absent.

Steve finished his book by saying live consciously, so I will end the same here..
Live consciously!
Adrienne

10. Variety

I love that Steve writes about any topic that interest him.  It could be vegan, raw, sleep patterns, habit changes, lightworking, travel, blogging, star trek, anything, and everything.  I love that the central theme as he writes about it is growth and living consciously.

9. Real life examples

Steve uses examples from his own life.  Not afraid to talk about the troubles of his past and what he learned, his family, his life, his trials, and how he became the man he is today.  He does not try to tell his readers he has always been this way.  He tells us in detail the paths he took to get to where he is – even when its messy.

8. Practices what he preaches

Steve tells us what he is living and loving and doing.  He applies his own tactics and shows how he they affect his own life.  I love that I can see the changes he goes through.  You can see how far Steve has come by how his articles have changed and grown with him.

7. Helpful tools

Steve loads your consciousness tool belt with all sorts of tools to deal with life.  Since he is so into variety, he gives tools for so many aspects of becoming a more conscious person.  However, even if your not into that, he has tools for time management, eating, sleeping, money, blogging, and more.

6. Themes

Steve’s articles often go in themes.  I love this because usually when he completes an article, I can tell it is just the tip of the  iceberg with regards to his entire thought process.  Sure enough, often he writes more about it.  I also love that sometimes he managed to work themes into articles like titling each heading after depeche mode in one article to using star trek analogies in another.

5. Geeky undertones

I am a geek.  I am out loud and proud.  I love star trek, and computers, and sci-fi and books.  And I love that Steve loves them too.  I love that he can incorporate hints of geekyness you might never even get unless you are a geek.  I love that it always makes me smile when I read it and I can tell he was smiling when he wrote it.  I love watching his intelligence shine through geeky undertones.

4. Humor

Steve cracks me up.  I love his sense of humor.  His style.  Even on very serious topics, he uses humor to relay a point.  Love that humor.  I love his ability to use humor to defuse tough topics and make them more available.

3. Passion

Steve cares.  It is so obvious through his words that he cares about people, animals, his family, his friends, the earth, star trek and just everything.  This creates all sorts of passion, and his writing is over flowing with it.  I  feel passion just reading his articles.  I feel driven to act.  Steve’s passion is truly contagious.

2. Forums

A couple years ago Steve and Erin, launched the forums.  An oasis where readers could gather and talk, help each other, laugh, get advice, and make friends.  I have met some amazing people on there.  If you have never checked it out, I suggest you do.  Even if you are not a fan of Steve’s blog or book, there is plenty else to read and talk about.

1. The importance of smilies

Steve articles are long.  I love them, and I love that they are long and in depth, but they are still long and often though provoking and usually very serious.  This is where Steve’s ability to use humor really comes in.  He sprinkles humor over his articles so in the mist of all the seriousness, you smile, and it feels good.  I love when I am reading and I can see in my lower field of vision a because I know that in the mist of all the reading and seriousness, there is some Steve humor coming right up.  I start smiling before I even get to the punch line.

Adrienne

10 ways to make a difference

1. Tolerance and acceptance– Perhaps one of the hardest character traits of all. There is a fine line between tolerance and accepting people and cultures and perpetuating an undesirable outcome by inaction. Tolerance is a step on the way to acceptance. While I always ultimately strive for acceptance over tolerance sometimes I have to tolerate something for a while before I can work past it and accept it.

I know someone who is raciest. For years, I had the hardest time with that. I tolerated the fact that he was raciest (and ageists and homophobic and probably a lot of other things) because he is married to a friend of mine. Because I was tolerant, I didn’t yell at him, berate him, or kick his ass which I was occasionally tempted to do but I tolerated his ideas even though I strongly disagreed. It was so far out of my thinking to even understand why or how anybody can determine someone character based solely on genetics, age, etc.

It took me a couple years to get passed this but I finally moved from tolerance to acceptance. I don’t agree with him, but I accept that is how he feels. I don’t feel the need anymore to get angry or upset about it.

Even if people could tolerate without accepting on an extreme scale, there would not be war because if everyone would tolerate every difference, if you did not like where you lived, the old place would tolerate you leaving and the new place would tolerate you coming.

Ultimately, my goal is to work past tolerance and just accept that people do and thing and feel the way they do. Just as I accept a sunny day (I like rain better), I can accept people.

There does get to be a line of accepting what people do and allowing something undesirable to occur by not taking action and standing up for your core values. (see point 5 in this list)

2. Be in the moment – The past does not exist, the future is not here (and never will be) so all we have is this moment. This moment to make a change, to do something different, to work towards a goal, to live! From my experiences, most people live in the past of what once was or the future which you never hit.

I find myself falling into this trap as well. Using events as blocks to stumble over instead of build from. The past is not occurring now (if you subscribe to linear time theory) so it serves as events to learn from not to directly influence a decision. If you had been in a bad relationship and used your passed to influence decisions you might say, I shouldn’t date or relationships are bad. But instead, if you use the bad relationship as a learning tool, you have more knowledge at which to make a brand new relationship out of.

I also find myself occasionally putting myself in the future. While knowing what my goals are and working toward them are good things, sometimes I get a little too wrapped up in it. When I am dead tired and working 80 plus hours a week, I constantly reminding myself that I can work myself to the bone now because this will make a better future. But this creates me working for the future instead of the now. Yes, what happens tomorrow is important, so is what happens today. No one is really working for the future; they are working to create a better present moment.

3. Set achievable goals and move forward - If you want to change your future, you have to change your present. You can change your present by making goals and following through on them.

4. Courage – While tolerance and acceptance are fabulous things, sometimes you need the courage to stick up for your core values (see point 5). Courage does not replace the need for acceptance but rather gives you the ability to accept it and try to change it.

Trying new things, taking risks, and standing up for what you believe in become a lot easier when you have courage behind you. Maybe you won’t become Gandhi over night, but little practices of courage can eventually lead to courageous decision making and the ability to be courageous with your life.

5. Stick to Core values – Core values are the nonnegotiable values you try to live your life by. Sometimes people or events differ from your core values. It then becomes your choice to make a conscious decision to take action or not.

Accepting that people are different is part of life, but people feel the need to stand up for their core values to help bring about change. Someone trying to change the world to reflect their values may be very different then your own and they might take action against you.

Returning to the example of my friend’s husband. If he were to suddenly begin to attack and harm people instead of just being talk, I would feel the need to take action to stop him. Now I can chose how I stop him, call the police, ask him to stop, physically stop him, or just pretend it does not happen. He has not hurt anyone , but when he says things I disagree with, I share my opinion and move on. I also chose not to be in his presence very often.

Interesting enough, when I finally accepted he was who he was and began to act consciously instead of react to him, he actually has come along way. I have seen him dozens of time in the past few months, and he has not said anything raciest. He also is now ok with the fact that is step daughter is dating a black man.

Everyone has the choice to stand up for their core values in their own way whether it be a peace protest, hunger strike, getting into a fight, or starting a war.

6. Compassion – compassion is more then just a general sympathy for others. It is a deep rooted understanding that allows us to feel what someone else is feeling. It creates a bond that transcends language, culture, space, and time. For me, it also spans species to all animals and even to trees and plants and the earth its self. Compassion often takes the form of sadness or pain because humans understand what it is like to suffer so we feel for people who are experiencing suffering.

Compassion can also prompt us to take action. Every time I see a picture of a starving kid, it helps me mold more ideas to help solve world hunger. Compassion can be a strong motivator to help bring about change.

7. Balance – is key to survival and happiness. It is difficult to be happy and make a difference if you work 90 hours a week. It is hard to accomplish anything if you spent 24 hours a day sleeping on a beach. Life is a balance between goofing off and having fun, learning and teaching, feeling and acting, doing and sleeping, happiness and sadness. Just as a well balanced diet helps keep a person strong and healthy, a well balanced life helps keep a person happy and active and moving forward.

I struggle with this every now and again. I tend to bury myself in work until fun is a long ago memory. Eventually as I being to burn out, I realize the missing component is balance.

8. Take some calculated risks – I once told someone, I might be a risk taker but I am not a stupid risk taker. I would love to jump out a play one day (good fun risk), but I am going to wear a parachute (not wearing a parachute is a stupid risk) unless I learn to fly by then

Sometimes you have to risk something to win big whether be it love or money or a new business or a new life or moving or anything. Sometimes risks can be scary or nerve wracking.

When I was younger, I played a lot of basketball. I could sink shots from all over the court but in a game, I never shot the ball. This went on for quite some time. After watching me play, someone told me that the VIP on our team only made 50 percent of her shots, but that I missed 100 percent of the shoots I never take. I thought about that for a while, and it was true. I broke my foot playing basketball in the rain soon after that so I was out for the season, but I started shooting the ball and I made more then 50 percent of my shots

Sometimes you just have to go for it. If you try 10, your bound to come out on top in one of them. I would rather come out on top once per 10 then never at all. And as you take more risks, you get better at knowing what is a good one and what is not.

9. Laugh everyday and inspire it around you – laugher is fun and contagious and makes the day go by. Laughing inspires it around you and the world becomes happier.

10. Love – Love makes the world. How wonderful it feels to love someone your heart aches. How inspiring it is to read about or watch someone fall in love. How moving it is to feel loved not because of what you do, but simply because of who you are. Love is more powerful then fear, hate, or anger. Love transcends death and can make smile with just a thought. Love is amazing and can be found anywhere even in the most unexpected places like between a crow and a kitten .

Adrienne

When he was younger the topics were more focused on space theory, string theory, dark mater, and quasars. But as he has gotten older, we find ourselves discussing theories that are less main stream.

Somehow he over heard the saying about how a butterfly flapping its wings in Africa can cause a hurricane in the Japan. This conversation led to an in depth discussion regarding how little causes can have big effects, and how we may never know the full extend of the effects. Before I knew it, the conversation has slipped into holographic theory.

This conversation got me thinking, if a butterfly can cause a hurricane, why can’t the little things though out my day cause something equally as big but more positive? It does not have to be big to make a difference.

7 easy ways to make a difference

1. Be Kind. If someone cuts you off, just move on. If someone upsets you, talk – don’t yell. Try kindness (honey in old your catch more bees with honey analogy) instead of anger or fear.
2. Have fun every day. People who have fun are happier people and being happy makes all the difference in the world to the people around you.
3. Support people who you like and love. Eat together, play games, buy their products, support their decisions, smile at them, and have fun with them.
4. Do something every day that is not in your routine. Don’t get stuck. Do something spontaneous that makes you happy.
5. Bake, or cook, or create something for someone having a hard day or just because.
6. Listen. One day, I was at the fire station, I wanted to see how long people would talk without me saying anything other then, “yes” or “ok”. Someone talked to me for over 2 hours. You don’t have to fix everything or have an answer for anything or even an opinion, sometimes someone just needs to talk. You don’t have to take on their problems either, but a friendly ear can make a world of difference.
7. Relax. Look at the stars, read a book, play a game, meditate, just relax. Relaxed people are not stuck in flight or fight may react to life differently. This makes happier people all around.

My conversations with my cousin are always interesting but also a little dangerous because sometimes we get stopped mid conversation then he has only a partial understanding of the subject. After the butterfly discussion, I overheard him explaining to someone how fish move around the sea without knowing it.

Adrienne