1. I quit a great job (well great as far as jobs go) at ADP.  I had a Fabulous boss, great friends, and cool projects.
2. My favorite movies are Princess bride, A&E pride and prejudice, and Disney’s beauty and the beast.
3. I love dancing to pop music.
4. I cant dance for shit.  I look like a neurotic squirrel, but i have fun and that is what matters.
5. I love to program, and can be given a programming book and be writing in the language within a few minutes and whole work programs within a couple days.
6. I love to read.  I typically read 2 to 3 books a week.  My favorite genres are supernatural fiction, sci-fi, and comedy.  However, i really only like books in a series, stand alone books can be good, but i dont enjoy them as much as picking up a new book in a series and finding an old friend.
7. I love to write.  I have written 2 complete books and am working on the 3rd in the series.
8. I just bought a new macbook pro.  I am a windows and linux geek, so i get to learn a new OS.  Seems awesome tho so far.  I am particularly interested in running linux on here and windows. So much new stuff to learn.  It is awesome.
9. I quote star trek almost every day.  I also quote famous poems or plays or books almost every day, and the only people who ever get the references are Bill (my old boss), my auntie, and my best friend.
10. I love animals, i dont even kill spiders in my place.  I let them live in their corner or where ever.
11. I know how to crochet and that is a little horrifying.
12. I love math and science and space and geeky stuff.
13. My indoor actives are usually pretty quite (unless i am playing an indoor sport), reading, computer, programming, games, video games, writing.
14. My outdoor activities are pretty insane, extreme sports, playing sports, skipping in the grocery store parking lot and in the actual store, dancing, spinning around in circles, hiking, white water rafting, anything and everything.  There is very little i wont try.
15. I laugh almost all day long.
16. I am a person of extremes. I think life is best lived that way.  Heck, anyone can be average.
17. I would love to learn how to build a green car and how build a house from the ground up.
18. I would love to have a laboratory/work shop where i can invent things.  Mmm sounds like an idea for something in the future.
19. I spend too much time on stumbleupon
20. I love to learn and am curious about everything.  I true to spend most of my day learning or trying new things or getting better at new things.  Occasionally (esp when it comes to programming languages) it is nice to actually know something about what i am doing, but mostly, if i already know a ton about it, i am just not interested in it anymore.  The current things i want to learn are: more about raw foods, drawing, comedy, math and science behind the ZPM theory (energy from a vacuum), fitness, and 100s more.
21. I dont really get bored.  I have my imagination to keep me entertained and i can sit and think or pace and think for a quite a while.  I almost always have a book, a computer, or something else with me.  I can code in my head, write in my head, or just be happy day dreaming.
22. I an adventurer.  I love to hike, backpack around.  I want to travel for world for a few years, meet new people, experience new cultures, do amazing things.  My friends and i are actually doing this.  We quit our jobs and are heading off for places unknown, where the road takes us.  We think we will hike around CA and head off for Costa Rica then just travel around to where we want to go.  We plan to work from the road and plan as we go.  It will be amazing.  And yes, i will blog about it.
23. I am a vegan a very happy vegan.
24. I love to play in the rain.  I still go out and jump in puddles, run, play, slip and slide, and take long walks in the rain.
25. I am very introverted, but most people think i am very extroverted.  It takes alot for me to act like an extrovert.  I enjoy it, but i need my quite time.

Adrienne

There are many unique friendships is this world as there are people and animals. Friends can be between adults, kids, significant others, animals, and pets. Some people want friends to watch old movies with and others want friends to ski with. Some people discuss celebrities and other philosophy. Some people like star trek, and I have heard rumors that some people don’t .

Friends are great to have around; they can turn a blah day into a great day just by having them around. Friends are perfect to laugh, play, talk, and have fun with.

The other day, a friend of mine was asking for some help with another one of her friends. Long story short, friends are great, but if you have varied interests (and many people do) then you need friends for those different interests.

Different Friends for Different Activities

Lots of people have a couple close friends who they expect the world of. This does not work and can quickly lead to burn out.

Here is an example. I love to hike, laugh, play in the rain, read, talk about abstract theories, extreme sports, caving, cards, and exploring the nature of the universe. I don’t like movies, lots of tv, going to the opera, and shopping.

If I looked for someone who liked to do everything I like to do and did not do anything I did not like, I would find a clone of me which does not exist and I would constantly be unhappy in my choice of friends.

So instead, I have friends who like to do more extreme activities, some who like reading, some who like nature, and some who like cards. But all of them are good conversationalist, fun, and intelligent. I find that to be friends with someone, besides being able to share common activities, I have to share some core values such as showing up on time and honesty. I find it hard to do things with people who are late are the time or who lie about showing up at all. Other people might have other core values such as fun, drinking or lack their of, or religious preferences.

Friendships fall apart when friends become too dependent on each other for all their needs. This happens a lot in romantic relationships as well. One party wants to do everything with the other one and this leads to issues. The classic examples of this in romantic relationships are going shopping and watching sports.

If a girl likes to shop and her boy friend does not, she can go without him. This also means that if a game is on, he can watch it without trying to explain the details of whatever sport it is. You will have much more fun shopping or watching sports if you are doing it with someone who also likes it instead of dragging around someone who doesn’t.

Friendships are amazing bonds that can transcend moves, significant others, earthquakes, and even kids

The real secret to friendship is being who you are and finding people who enjoy the same things and doing those activities with them. Accept the parts of your friends that do things you don’t like, and leave them to it. Even best friends don’t do everything together. Friends are people who you love to do activities with and can enjoy each other at the same time.

Since I started out by defining money in relationship to value followed by information on debt (using more value then you provide), it only makes sense that I end with the my favorite part: saving.

Saving is the opposite of debt because you are providing more value then you are using. Saving is by far the most fun because usually when you are saving, you aren’t worried about making your mortgage, rent, car payment, etc.

Lets talk about some of the most frequent questions I get asked before we get into heavier stuff tn later posts.

What is the benefit to saving?

• Having money when rough times hit such as losing your job, change in your personal business, or unexpected medical expenses.
• Retirement
• Travel
• Being able to help other people who need it
• Retiring early
• Being able to afford items of larger value (house, boat, cabin)
• Better investment opportunities
• Having money for future high expenses such as kids going to college.

Do I need to worry retirement? I will have social security.

Yes. Social security is not meant to be a total income replacement. It is a supplement. The average paid out per month is 1000 dollars. Is this enough for you to retire the way you want?

How much do I need to retire?

That is a loaded question. If you retire at 65, how long do you plan to live? Today people are living into their 100s. If you retire at 65 that means you need 35 years worth of income to live on if you live to be a 100. The best I can say here is have enough money that you only live off the interest. This way you can live as long as you can with out money being an issue. This means if you want 2000$ a month, you need around 2.2 million getting around 10 percent return.

I am too young too deal with that now, or I am too old too start now.

No such thing.

What are the top 5 things you recommend so I can retire with out a financial worries?

1. Have a place to live that is free or close to it. This means owing where you live out right.

2. Get in shape now and stay in it. Walk everyday. This will save you a ton of money later down the road in health care.

3. Save enough money so that you live off interest alone.

4. If you can stomach it, be a contentious high risk investor. I will write more on this in future posts.

5. Don’t “barrow” from your savings unless absolutely necessary. This means don’t take a vacation with the money you are saving.

For those interested, here are some of my favorite savings calculators.

This one is simple but it allows you too drag a bar to change a criterion just a little and see the difference that makes

I like this one because it works backwards. You tell it how much you want to have and it tells you what to do to accomplish that. It also has an amortization option. I love amortization calculators.

This is a good one for working with taxable and nontaxable accounts.

Adrienne

Let’s start at the beginning.

How do you get into debt? What is debt?

As stated in first part of this trilogy, debt means you have consumed more value then you have contributed. You buying and spending exceed what you give back to the world.

Debt comes in all shapes and sizes:

· Borrowing 5 bucks from a friend at lunch

· Borrowing money from family and friends

· Student loans

· Car payments

· Credit cards

· Home loans

· Line of credits

· Now, you can even go to a local quickie loan and write them a check that they will cash on pay day and they give you money right away – minus there charge of course.

These days we teach kids really early that debt in ok. “Fine, you can have it, but it is coming out of next week’s allowance” or “you can pay me back when we get home.” I am not saying this bad, but simply posing the questions: were you aware? Was the kid aware on same other level other then I got what I want?

In the states, debt is started young. Companies target college kids for high interest credit cards, card loans, and student loans. As you get older the amount of companies who want to lend you money is grader because now they want to lend you money for home loans and goodness knows what else. Before you know it, you have more debt then you can imagine.

What is to be made of this? First, learn to say no. Just because a bank is willing to lend you 200K for a new home doesn’t mean you can afford that. Banks, credit card companies, and other lending institutions will give you more then you can afford because they make more money. Remember, everything you barrow you have to pay back with interest, so determine if the pay off is worth it.

Good Debt Vs bad debt

I have heard lots of talk recently about people talking about being in debt, but they think that’s ok because it is good debt and good debt must be ok. Good debt is often considered home loans and student loans. Home loans because they have low interest rates and are tax deductible. Student loans because the interest rate is very low. Credit cards and other high interest (over 7 percent or so) are often considered bad debt because of how much money is spent on paying interest and how little is spent on paying principle.

Lets play with numbers.

Let’s pretend that I am going to buy a house. I am going to take out a loan for 200K. At the time of this writing, you can deduct interest on loans up to a million dollars loans on your taxes in the United States.

200K paid over 30 years at 6.0 % interest:

I pay 1199.10 per month

I pay 231,676.38 in interest over 30 years

Lets say now, I am making my house payment no sweat and I decide to make double house payments.

I pay 2398.20 per month

I pay 59,428.74 in interest over 9 years and 1 month.

After those 9 years I stop getting a tax ride off as well.

Now let’s say instead of putting that money into paying off the house, I instead invest it. Now personally, on average I earn about 18-20 percent a year on my investments, but I know the rule is 10 %. So for the sake of this, let’s say you get 10 % interest per year on the money you invest.

If I put 1199.10 a month into investments after 30 years, I will have 1,861,877.97 (factored in 25 percent tax per year). That’s a lot

Now, if I paid off the house instead then put double into investments. After I paid off the mortgage, it would look like this:

If I pay 2398.20 a month into investments for 21 years I will have 1,601,720.39 (factored in 25 percent tax per year).

That is a 260,157.85 dollar difference.

This is what it boils down to:

In 30 years, I end up at the same place with the house paid off and investments. I paid out the same amount. Each month 2398.20 was either invested and/or used to pay off the loan. Even tho I paid a lot more in interest to the bank, the extra investment interest more then made up for it. On top of this I have all the money I saved in taxes because I tax deduct the interest over 30 years not just 9.

To me, 260,157.85 that is worth it. You have to make your own choice.

The idea here is that some debt allows you to accumulate wealth while others only help you stay in debt. You actually make more money being in debt then you will if you pay it off. While these numbers are true, if you don’t have the self control to invest and instead of investing buy TVs, boats, etc, then choose to pay off your loans first. What I am talking about is a great idea in theory but for many people is hard to execute. Why? Self control and short term thinking. I will touch on that more in future posts.

Now, I hate debt. I am not in it, I don’t want to be in it. I avoided student loans like the plague choosing instead to work more then full time. When the time comes for me to buy a property, I will take out a home loan. I will take 30 years to pay the loan off, I will take the tax break, and I will invest like crazy. I already invest like crazy so that wont be too big of a change.

Adrienne

How to get money

How to invest money

How to be debt free

Best ways to save money

Why save

And all sorts of questions along those lines.

I am not an stock broker, banker, financial adviser, or any sort of investment guru. I am completely debt free. I don’t have a car payment, student loans, credit card debt, or owe anyone any money. I have a savings account, stocks, mutual funds, 401K, Roth IRA, and am quickly approaching my mid 20s.

I have never been handed money, gotten an inheritance, or grew up affluent. I paid for college, my first car, my first computer, and did not get financial help when I moved out on my own when I graduated from college at 20.

Money seems to be an international craze. Some people want money for clean water and food, some for a new house, others for a plasma tv. Some people want only enough to be comfortable while others want every cent they can get there hands on. But, what is money?

In the US, money takes the form of dollars and cents and is associated with the color green. Canada’s money looks pink. There is the Yen, Pound, Euro, Rupees, Francs, Rand, Pesos, Schilling, Marks, Lire, and probably 100 more. But what is money really?

Money is a form of trying to create a standardized barter system. You do something of value for someone and in return you get a piece of paper that says now you can get something of value from someone else. When you are in debt, you have used a lot of value and not provided as much value back. When you have extra money, you have provided value (in terms of work, loaning money via stocks, etc) in excess of what you “cashed” in.

In my experience, most people don’t really want money. They don’t really want a million dollars sitting in their bank account. They only want a million dollars to the extent of what they can buy with it: a house, a tv, PS3, Wii, or food.

So to get money, you have to provide value. It’s not necessarily real value but what society perceives as valuable. Something valuable to me might have little to no value to you and vice versa. For example, I write this in a sparsely finished room lite by a 20 buck lamp I got on sale with a high efficiency light bulb. To me, style who cares? But energy efficient, that has my attention.

Lets take a cardiac surgeon and trash collector. American society clearly values someone who can do heart transplants more then the person who picks up trash. Why? Perception. It is often perceived that a doctor goes to school, studies hard, and learns to save lives; whereas, a trash collector did not have to go to school, study hard and is not responsible for saving lives. But is that true? How many people would die if we could not do heart transplants? How many people would die without trash pickup?

Right away, we would see already sick people get worse and die if all cardiac surgeons vanished and could not be replaced. No trash pick up? No problem… for a couple weeks. Before long, bugs and rats would become an issue and with rats come disease and sickness. Remember the black plague?

My point, society needs both jobs. While one is considered white collar and the pay is in the hundreds of thousands, the other is low class and pays slightly better then minimum wage.

So the big secret? Do something of valuable.

This is fist part of a trilogy on money. So stay tuned.

Adrienne

Billy:

Adrienne thanks again for your responses. You have given me a lot to think about and provided me with a nice exercise to take a better look at myself and what I want from myself and for the world.

At risk of driving you nuts though I have to admit I am still confused.

See unlike you when I wrote out my two lists they did not look similar. The things I wanted to do and enjoyed to do were all things that I couldn’t really see how I could make money off of.

The kinds of changes I wanted to see in the world included things like people being more intelligent, conscious, enlightened, understanding of each other, and more respectful of each other’s differences.

When I look at this list pursuing something like journalism or teaching seems fine.

My confusion comes in however when I look at what I want to do and I start getting more selfish in my desires. I start thinking about how I would like to do this or have this, and then it seems so silly to me to hand over my time to either a school or a newspaper or whatever.

I mean I guess it doesn’t really make sense, because I am hardly making any money at all right now and to be honest I am really not doing anything that interesting either, but I guess it just seems really hard for me to commit to doing something that I see as limiting to me.

I am probably being unrealistic, but at the same time it might be unrealistic to think that I can go work for someone else and do what they want me to do, for a limited amount of money and potential.

I really don’t even know what I would want to do for myself, but I know that I start to feel claustrophobic just thinking about going to do someone else’s work.

Adrienne:

I am always happy to help Bill. It does not drive me nuts at all and I am always honest, often painfully so

Often the list don’t look similar. Look at my list, I like to program. But the changes I want to see in the world have really nothing to do with programming. My goal is not to create a new OS for the world (tho thinking about it, it could be fun ). I cant program food into peoples stomachs over the world or write a program to create world enlightenment. However, programming is something I like, when I do it, I am happy. I also make money at this, and that indirectly will help others and the earths which are my goals.

It is not a straight like to connect the dots.. Since we are all very familiar with Steve, lets use him as an example..

Lets go back 3 years ago before Steve started his blog. (again I am piecing this together from his post, I am not a guaranteeing he said all this verbatim). Steve knew he liked:
• Technology (he ran a game business).
• He did not mind programming (he programmed his games)

He knew he wanted to change the world by helping people by giving them new ideas. He wants to make people think. Disagree with him, fine, but think.

Now there is no clear path between liking technology and trying to give people new ideas… so he created one. He used his skills as a programmer to design a nice blog. He used his love for technology to learn more about servers, hosting solutions, shared hosting, virtually dedicated hosting, and dedicated hosting. Steve probably also looked into other ideas then doing a blog. Ultimately, a blog fit in both places. He can reach anyone around the world with access to the internet. He can do what he loves, write, reach and help people, and mess with new technology.

I see lots of things in common with your list. From the sound of it you like to read and write (I get this from the teaching and journalism comments). You like to snowboard. You want to create people more intelligent and enlightened etc? Do you see yourself as being intelligent, enlightened and conscious? Are these goals you are working towards yourself?
I am sure lots of people know the quote “be the change you wish to see in the world”. And it is true. On a scale of 1 to 10 how conscious are you? Intelligent? Accepting of differences? By working on those yourself, you help the world. Do you find yourself judgmental of anyone (it might not be obvious like dislike a race, it could be flippant comments about the rich, the poor, animals, hippies, painters, people badly in debt, smokers, drug users, alcoholics, speeders, rapists , killers, etc?).

Back to the lists. Here are just some ideas that cross the platform that can make you money without a boss, and without huge start up cost..
• An Ezine that’s focus is the changes you want to see in the world. Stories of people going out of their way to help people. Kids (like steve and myself and that kid steve wrote about earlier in his blog) who graduate college in just a few semesters.
• You like to teach, teach people to snowboard or something else you love to do.
• Create a website with daily stories of the good that goes on in the world. Of people acting intelligent and conscious. Spreading word of things like the free hug campaign.

That is just rough ideas thought of as I saw the list you wrote. Imagine how many more ideas are hiding in your list waiting for you to find? Think outside the box. It does not need to be anything anyone has done before.

You said, right now what you are doing you don’t make money and the work is not interesting.. Well look at it this way. In a year, no matter what, a year would have passed. Not making a decision is the same as making a decision, you chose not to act. In a year, you can be doing new things, or you can be what you are doing now. You can put off trying something new, and in a year, you will still be wondering. You also said “its hard to do something limiting” well it sounds like you are always doing something you find limiting, so you don’t have anything to lose by trying something else that might not be.

As to the mindset, the more you think about what you want the more selfish you get. It’s ok to want things. It really is. I am not saying you should live as if a monk. The problem beings when you put your happiness above others all the time. Ever been on a plane? You know how they give you that long talk about what happens if the cabin loses pressure. Always put on your mask then help those around you with theirs. You can’t do anything to help anyone if you start losing consciousness. Same thing. Its hard to try to help people (not impossible but harder) if your go to bed hungry at night. At the same token, once you have your mask on, wouldn’t you want to help others? Wont life be better for the kid next to you that you helped her? Would you just sit there, watch her struggle so you could continue to watch a movie or read a book undisturbed?

Let me ask you this, all those things you want. If you suddenly had them all, how would that change your life? Would you just want more? (think of kids on Christmas, you give them a bunch of toys they want, and they are happy and grateful but the next day or the next week they need more stuff to play with, but a kid with an imagination has anything whenever he wants it). Would having a new X, Y, and Z really change your life that much? Are you saying that material possession have the ability to make you happy? I will agree that having a warm bed, food, and clean water makes is easier to be happy. But do material things make you happy? If they do, then that is an issue unto itself. While getting a new computer makes me very happy, I am happy without it. I know I need some things for my business and to live and such, but most things, what do you really need it for? Do you want things just to want things?

On a side note.. I think one of the main pieces you are missing is passion. Passion for life. Passion for something, passion for everything. What are you passionate about? Once you find passion, true passion for one thing, it’s just a few steps to be passionate about everything. Without passion, gusto for life, or whatever you want to to call it, life is just a complacent time with nothing but occasional issues (such as money etc) that get in the way of being complacent. I wish I could draw a graph for this but words will have to do…

Negative emotions —-> complacent —-> positive emotions

Complacent people want things because things bring temporary happiness because they are not just happy with life. Complacent people don’t strive for much they want status quo all the time (these are the people that want to work 9-5 everyday or even better not to work. They want to go home, watch tv and occasionally sleep with someone (please don’t read that as everyone who has a job or likes to watch tv etc is complacent)). They have material happiness when they get something, but mostly they slip down from complacent to upset/depressed/angry/jealous/etc as soon as anything changes that threatens status quo.

Now a passionate conscious person (think of Steve, Erin, and some of the people on this forum, etc) setbacks are just that, a setback, a challenge. They don’t accept happiness form their situation. They just are positive and conscious regardless of outside stimuli. There are challenges, something fun that makes life interesting. Passionate people change activities a lot so nothing ever gets boring (notice with Steve’s blog, he often writes about what he working though, sometimes money, sometimes LOA, sometimes kids stuff, then he upps the level by launching forums). Passion comes from within. Happiness does too. Every emotion does.

Complacent people go thru life never really living it. They go thru the motions to try and keep a status quo, live in fear of someone taking that away. Passionate conscious people love to live and you cant take away from them.

Ok ok ok so that was a long side note.. but I thought it was relevant.

Hope that helps. Wow that is really long.. if you got to the bottom thanks for reading

Billy:

Adrienne- You are a very helpful person. I greatly appreciate it. You really hit the nail on the head with your responses. I hope I can apply your advice and return the favor to someone.

This conversation originally appeared on The Steve Pavlina forums . It is posted here with permission from Billy. Because of the length of the conversation, I have spread this across a couple post. Billy originally posted this commenting on a blog entry by Steve Pavlina.

Billy:

The idea to observe your actions and that they will reveal your true beliefs. I can understand how this is true, but what I do not understand is how this is suppose to help us/me change into the person I want to be and to believe and do the things that I want to do.

By looking at my actions I can see clearly what my beliefs actually are, and I can see that they are not the beliefs that I would like to have, or the beliefs I feel would most greatly benefit me.

I guess my question is once I’ve identified my actual beliefs by observing my actions, how can I begin to change my beliefs and actions to be the ones I actually want and not the ones I currently have?

Adrienne:

If you wish to change your beliefs, change your actions to match the beliefs you want to have.

For example. say you once held the belief that you are selfless and do a lot for others. Then as you observe your actions, you notice the following
- You have no volunteer activities
- You don’t give money or time to people or places you thought you wanted to support
- Heck, you don’t help someone who dropped papers in front of you.

Now, you noticed you live incongruently with your belief. You think you are selfless but you really aren’t. Everything you do has a gain for you. So, there is where it is your choice. Do you:
A) accept that you are aren’t as selfless are you thought, embrace that and try to get ahead.
B) Change your actions to BE more selfless.
As your actions change to match your beliefs, your beliefs get stronger because you are living them.

Back to the example, lets say you chose option B (what can I say, I am an optimistic realist ). What can you do to bring your beliefs and your actions closer together?
· Give money or even better give time
· Volunteer at a hospital, a shelter, a fire station, hospice, community events, adopt a child, etc.
· When someone needs help, give it without the thought of how it impacts you.. (At first hard, but it gets easier)
There are lots of options from the easy (giving money) to harder ones (adopting a child, working with special needs kids etc)

I hope that helps. If you want, if you post your specific example your wrestling with, it might be easier for people to explain things they would do to alter their beefs to match instead of my hypotheticals.

Billy:

Adrienne (or whoever else)-The specific problem I have been having, for I don’t know the past ten years or so , I am 28, is that I have never known what I wanted to do with my life. I have severely lacked direction. I guess other people lack direction and they say ‘oh well’ and they just look to enjoy their lives or whatever and get on with it, but for whatever reason I made it into this life or death situation, totally blew it out of proportion, I guess, caused great depression, anxiety, shame, etc; to list a few of the negative emotions and thoughts that I have had originating from this issue.

My parents just told me to go to college and get a job, but this never suited me. All the jobs I have ever worked or even thought about working seemed so pointless to me. The goals of the job always seemed to be in direct opposition to the values I have held in esteem and the beliefs I have had about the world. It just seemed to be a struggle towards something which I didn’t believe in anyways. Even journalism, which is what I got my masters degree in, seemed utterly pointless to me.

In any case it was very appropriate that you brought up the value/belief of selflessness. I am not trying to claim to be this selfless individual; look at what I have done for the past ten years, completely obsessed about myself, my direction, my purpose, etc.

In any case your, Adrienne’s, response really hit a chord with me. Monday morning I am volunteering at the Foodshare in my hometown and have talked to them about a possible internship. A 28 year old intern, never would have predicted that one when I was growing up. In any case I think it could be a great opportunity to getting involved in something I see as worthwhile.

I thought about what I wrote and it brought to light a specific belief or question I have. A lot of my problems come from the fact that I ultimately see everything as pointless. I see the benefits of working out, contributing, trying to be rich, or being in a relationship but ultimately I question the worth of this or that activity or goal.

When I look at my actions I see someone who is probably scared, but also someone who questions the point or value in everything in this world. Possibly you could help me address this belief, which is probably not serving me.

Adrienne:

Lacking direction is a common issue many people deal with. It can also be a tough one to handle.

I have never figured out what I want to be when I grow up, I just know I want to be me.
Since I love examples, (and because I think people understand showing more then telling), let me use one

When I was younger, at least in the USA, schools always make a big deal about what are you going to be when you grow up. Ever year you can look forward to at least one paper or project that is all about what you want to be when you grew up.

I never understood this. Why would I want to be anything but myself?

When I was in kindergarten everyone wanted to be a police officer, or fireman, or a doctor. When I got a little older, everyone wanted to do whatever they could to make a lot of money so they no longer had to do anything (again a concept I never understood).

Every year my project was never anything special. I would make something up just to get by. But it was a question I really wrestled with for a long time. And I finally figured out why when I was about 18 or so. The people around me focused on what they wanted to be to enable them to have money. I observed people. And this is what I saw.
People wanted to have lots of money so they did not have to do anything. They just wanted to watch tv, spend whenever they feel like it, and have someone to sleep with at night. That was all they wanted. And I totally did not get it.

So I made a list (in my head) of everything I can do and want to do. If I can do it, but I don’t enjoy it, I did not write it down. The list was long, and I found I do take joy out of everything I do. For example some of the stuff on my list was:
Programming
Computers/Technology
Helping People
Helping animals
Helping the Earth

I looked at my thought about my list and thought “I can do anything… I can do everything.. I can change the world.” But then the thought came of, well what do I want to do to change it? I know then whey I die, I want to come back to a place that is better because I had lived here before.
So then I thought some and made a yet another list of what changes in the world I want to see, which was no small task and included things like:
Everyday kindness is a normal occurrence
No such thing as war or starvation
Schools kids like, people having a passion for learning and making the world a better place
World Peace / Tolerance and love for everyone and everything
No such thing as animal shelters because all the animals have homes
Animals aren’t killed or hurt for food
The earth is happy and clean and the trees reclaim their land
Clean energy
Space Travel
ETC

There is a lot more… I have high aspirations lol. So then I started thinking, what can I do now to start making a difference even in just a little way towards all this?

So I found things I can do now, on a much smaller scale, to set in motion a better world. I will never be content to come home every night to watch tv. And I call a life like this, the life I lead to be far from ‘pointless’. (Bill, your word about how you feel that so many ‘jobs’ in life are pointless). Between work, my business which will one day fund the businesses I need to help the world on a much larger scale, and volunteering I am on the go over 90 hours a week. I volunteer over 40 hours a week on average, from being a volunteer EMT to dressing up as an elf to give presents to kids who have none.

Make your life worth living for yourself and for others.

Whatever you chose to do with your life, is ultimately a choice you make. You have a few choices:
Let life pass you by, and when you are 80, the only thing worthwhile you have done is watch 80 years worth of tv OR
Take charge of your life, so when you die, no matter the age, the world is better because you lived and loved, and had a great time.

Now, I am an odd sort of person. If there is a mountain in front of me and a nice grassy path to walk up, I will chose to get some ropes and scale it. Because the view from the top is the same no matter how you got there, but the journey which will be what takes most of your time, for me is much grander if I climb then if I walk. Because I want the journey to be fun and enjoyable.

Now, this is not advice I would give anyone or everyone but since you talked about wanting to add value, that is why I brought up all that.

You sound like the kind of person who needs a challenge. Something to work for that is not pointless. Set some goals that make a difference. Set an ultimate goal that to you is so outrageous and work for it. (I have a few, see world peace, and world hunger above). And last but not least, have fun with everything you do, vary what you do enough that it never gets boring, and make everyday the best day ever, because today, this moment is all you have.