Well, day 13 is over. What a day it was. I went from sleepy and unfocused to hyper and unfocused to almost crawling out of my skin, and finally to exhausted and unfocused.
I had major food cravings today for pretty much anything that was high calorie. I started writing it down, the only thing all the meals I wanted had in common are they are very high calorie.
Here are some examples of food on the list:
- pasta with vegan meatballs and meat sauce and vegan garlic bread
- mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy
- black beans, rice, tortillas, pico de gallo, and guacamole
The only thing they all have in common is being high in calories and high in carbs. I wonder it this means I am not getting enough calories on my juice feast?
- 1 quart cantaloupe
- 1 quart celery, cucumber, tomato, garlic, cilantro
- 4 oranges
- 4 oranges
The oranges I did the same thing as I did yesterday where I cut them into wedges and sucked the juice out. I love this. It was by far the most staffing drink I had today.
I took a 25 minutes walk today in between rain drops. My heart was not in it though. I felt like I was going through the motions, and each step was a drag.
Everything today felt like a drag. I didn’t want to do anything. I didn’t feel like drinking, making juice, staring, writing, blogging, sleeping, showering, etc. I didn’t even feel like reading!!
I felt totally detached from life today. Nothing had my interest, even staring into space was frustrating and made me angry. What is with that?
I fluctuated moods like a was on a roller coaster. One second I was flying high laughing and being insanely hyper, and the next moment I became angry and annoyed and watchful.
I was also obsessed with food day. That was the only thing I could focus on. I spent over 4 hours thinking about food. Planning routes around the city that would give me the most amount of what I was craving in the least amount of time. Every time someone ate something around me, I wanted to hear all about it.
On one hand, I got pissed off with something like “This juice feast is not going to beat me! I am going to stick it through just because I am too pissed off at it not to show it I will I win.” On the other hand, I almost want to bang my head into the kitchen wall with wanting something to eat. I was thinking of how good a salad with avocado and tomato would be. How maybe I could just eat the avocado!
I almost freaked out when I realized it would take me 6 days to break the feast, so I felt like I was at a minimum of 6 days away from not feeling like this.
At this point, I am still trying to make it through 30 days. I am going to try and get more calories in though, a lot more calories.
B-12 and zeolite.
Another day down.. Another @#%^&*(#^% %#@^% day!
Right now, the thing that is keeping me going is that I only have 16 more days left. And if I stop something this year I will have to attempt 30 days again and I SOOOOOOOOOOO don’t want that experience again this year. At least – those are my feelings in the moment… as I said, it has been a hard day.