Defining Friendship

Friends Rock. Having friends also rocks. Friends mean different things to different people. For some people a friend is someone you can talk to, hike with, party with, debate millennium math problems with, or just chill with. My best fiend and I always tease each other that friends do all sorts of things with each other but best friends hold your hair back when you puke with the flu.

There are many unique friendships is this world as there are people and animals. Friends can be between adults, kids, significant others, animals, and pets. Some people want friends to watch old movies with and others want friends to ski with. Some people discuss celebrities and other philosophy. Some people like star trek, and I have heard rumors that some people don’t :D .

Friends are great to have around; they can turn a blah day into a great day just by having them around. Friends are perfect to laugh, play, talk, and have fun with.

The other day, a friend of mine was asking for some help with another one of her friends. Long story short, friends are great, but if you have varied interests (and many people do) then you need friends for those different interests.

Different Friends for Different Activities

Lots of people have a couple close friends who they expect the world of. This does not work and can quickly lead to burn out.

Here is an example. I love to hike, laugh, play in the rain, read, talk about abstract theories, extreme sports, caving, cards, and exploring the nature of the universe. I don’t like movies, lots of tv, going to the opera, and shopping.

If I looked for someone who liked to do everything I like to do and did not do anything I did not like, I would find a clone of me which does not exist and I would constantly be unhappy in my choice of friends.

So instead, I have friends who like to do more extreme activities, some who like reading, some who like nature, and some who like cards. But all of them are good conversationalist, fun, and intelligent. I find that to be friends with someone, besides being able to share common activities, I have to share some core values such as showing up on time and honesty. I find it hard to do things with people who are late are the time or who lie about showing up at all. Other people might have other core values such as fun, drinking or lack their of, or religious preferences.

Friendships fall apart when friends become too dependent on each other for all their needs. This happens a lot in romantic relationships as well. One party wants to do everything with the other one and this leads to issues. The classic examples of this in romantic relationships are going shopping and watching sports.

If a girl likes to shop and her boy friend does not, she can go without him. This also means that if a game is on, he can watch it without trying to explain the details of whatever sport it is. You will have much more fun shopping or watching sports if you are doing it with someone who also likes it instead of dragging around someone who doesn’t.

Friendships are amazing bonds that can transcend moves, significant others, earthquakes, and even kids :)

The real secret to friendship is being who you are and finding people who enjoy the same things and doing those activities with them. Accept the parts of your friends that do things you don’t like, and leave them to it. Even best friends don’t do everything together. Friends are people who you love to do activities with and can enjoy each other at the same time.

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2 Responses to “Defining Friendship”

  1. Jason says:

    Another couple things to keep in mind with friends:

    1. Make sure that you’re friends because you like who they are, not because of what you do together… at least if you want a friendship that lasts.

    2. Friendships, like any relationship, require attention to survive. If you do not/cannot give a friend your attention, that friendship will fade away. On the other hand, you can cause the friendship to grow if you start giving them more attention… as long as you don’t go over the amount that they want.

  2. Adrienne says:

    True, but if you dont do anything together that both parties like, there wont be much of a friendship either. You have to like someone for who they are to be friends with them, but you only know them when they are with you, and that is why it is so important to do something together that both parties enjoy.

    All relationships require attention. I would not necessarily say work because work often had a negative connotation to it. You can enjoy giving a friend attention and being with them without it being work.

    always love to hear your comments Jason.

    Adrienne :)

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